Hello beautiful people!!
Still alive, taking things day by day, enjoying work and the dating scene.
I forgot how much fun dating can be! Sadly, I haven’t found a fulfilling, long-term relationship yet, but that’s okay. There was one guy that definitely could’ve been something serious, but life got in the way, as it usually does. Then there was the guy that I casually dated for a month, but when it came to becoming more serious, he just wasn’t feeling it. Then there was the one who initially, I didn’t trust as far as I could throw (which is, like, negative seven feet), and then the second I started to think “Huh, maybe I actually can trust him,” he broke up with me, so that sucked. In betwixt the serious ones, there have been some flings, including a guy who had a key made for me less than 24 hours after meeting me (I ran screaming from that one) and a guy who helped me find out (just for fun) that I can fit into a suitcase (yes, really, and yes, I do have photo evidence).
I’ve surprised myself by discovering my ability to be very emotionally balanced about things since the divorce, which has helped immensely in my dating life. I won’t make the same mistakes that I did in my marriage, so the number one rule for my dating life now is communication. I am always open and upfront with all the people I go out with; the ones who have a problem with who I am, what I’ve done, and what I want weed themselves out that way. I make sure I know what they’re looking for before we even meet in person, that way there’s no mixed signals. The guys who ghost me obviously aren’t mature enough to be honest and open about their intentions, what they’re looking for, or if they don’t like/can’t handle me; to those men, I say a hearty “Screw you, sir,” and move on. Sidenote: don’t ghost on people. It’s a dick move. Be honest; it’s not that hard.
This has helped me avoid all of the emotions that come from a “bad” breakup. As long as everything is done respectfully, honestly, and with good intent, breakups don’t have to be “bad” or “good”—they just are. For example, the guy who broke up with me last week: he approached it openly and honestly, wasn’t cruel, and was very sweet about the whole thing. I was sad, but he was living his truth and I can’t fault him for that. He actually said something along the lines of, “This would be easier if you were mad,” and I said, “do you want me to be mad? Because I’m not, but I can pretend to be.” And eventually, the mad did come–but I wasn’t mad at him, because he was just doing what his heart was telling him to, I was just mad at the universe that it didn’t work out. Eventually, things will work out as they’re meant to, but in the moment, it sucks.
I’m hoping, eventually, to find something serious. There’s nothing I love more than finding someone with whom I can go on adventures, laugh like an idiot, and shower with love and affection. Hopefully, he’s out there on Tinder. Until I find him, I guess I’ll just keep swiping right.