*dusts blog off*
Uhhh…hi guys!! So, it’s been a while, eh? Sorry about that, but a lot of stuff happened this past year. I had a lot of time to think on my solo road trip to Florida to visit my dad back in March of 2016, which lead to a few major, major, life-changing decisions.
As many of you know, I changed jobs back in September of 2016. I left my job as an admin assistant and dove back into the world of IT after realizing that while I enjoyed admin work, it wasn’t fulfilling or challenging enough for me. Through a staffing agency, I was placed on the internal help desk for a company in Mount Laurel NJ, so I get to spend my days answering the phone, joking with people at my company, and laughing like an idiot with my fellow coworkers. This is the happiest I have ever been with a job in my entire life, which speaks volumes–the last time I was this happy at work was my last help desk job. For those of you who know anything about Myers-Briggs, I waver between ENFP/ENFJ, so this should come as no surprise. I’m still a temp, which is not ideal (a permanent job with sick days and benefits would be better), but I love my company and coworkers, so I can deal with it. My shift is a weird one (not the typical 9-to-5), but it works perfectly for my schedule.
The other major decision that occurred on my road trip was one that I had come to a while back, but didn’t know how/when to act. I figured out the direction the wind was blowing in March, made my final decision in October, and set things into motion in the new year.
On April 20th, just one day shy of my 5th wedding anniversary, I filed for divorce.
This was not a decision I came to lightly, and I won’t get too deep into it for personal reasons and out of respect for my ex-husband, but it was the right decision to make. I still care for my ex and it was as amicable as a divorce could be–there wasn’t really any fighting and, thanks to awesome laws in NJ that make mediated divorce super easy, it only took about month once all the paperwork was filed. I have no anger, no regrets, and I wish my ex nothing but happiness, peace, and the best life and future.
I moved down to South Jersey to be closer to work and absolutely love it here. I live 10 minutes from my job, 15 minutes from some of my best friends, and about 20 minutes from Philadelphia. I am local to everything!! There’s so much great stuff down here–South Jersey is absolutely fantastic; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Stitchy and I have a (mostly) quiet 1-bedroom apartment with a porch (which she loooves) and all the amenities. I’m slowly unpacking all of my collectibles and figuring out how to display everything–I’ve still got a bunch of stuff in a storage unit up in Lawrenceville, but I’m moving things down here gradually so I don’t have to unpack it all at once. I spend most of my free time reading, cooking, catching up on TV, and playing games. It’s heaven.
I’m still coming to terms with everything that’s happened. I’m living on a single income, which is a bit of a challenge, but not one I’m not able to face. I’m learning a lot about myself, mostly that it’s okay to put myself first. I’ve become the queen of saying ‘No thanks’ to things I don’t want in my life–negativity, self-doubt, passive-aggression, and the like. I’m opening myself to love, light, and happiness.
The biggest thing I’ve learned in all this is that I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do (with the exception of the socially-acceptable things, like working and wearing pants in public). It’s wonderful to look at the people/things surrounding me and the things I do and know that they’re present and happening because I want them to be…if I wake up one day and don’t want them anymore, I can change that. I have cultivated a close group of people who support and love me for who I am, despite all of the changes to my life and the upheaval I’m still in. I take my time experiencing everything I can now simply because I can.
I don’t really have a good zinger/ending for this post, but I do have a solid piece of advice: Live your best life. Do what makes you happy. Life is too short for regrets and compromises; I consider myself lucky that I figured it out relatively early on in life.